That Which is Truly Life

I'm not really who I thought I was and I'm not as okay as I thought I was. Yes, I act as if my life is a party, but in reality, I'm falling apart. In reality, I've been walking around, holding out my bleeding heart in my hands, wondering if anyone can see it. 

What caused that? you may ask. Life caused it. Life hurts. Life has hurt for a long time and I've been sort of, denying it. There are few things about life that are easy, and the good things in life tend towards rarity. I am stuck in places I really don't want to be, I never feel like I've achieved what I've been striving for, and I never really have that comradery that I long for. What else? I am often hungry, sick, tired, and stressed, wondering how on earth I am going to pay for next months bills let alone how I'll make it through today. 

Maybe I'm the only one.... I know I'm not. Do you know how I feel? At least a little bit. 

But what's the point??? Is there a point to all of the pain? Sometimes, when we are standing in the middle of our desperation, we don't know exactly what to do with ourselves. How do we move forward? How do we step towards healing? What if I don't even know what questions to ask??? I'm just HERE. WHAT NOW? 

Here's the reality. 
God never changes. He is always the same regardless of how we waver, struggle, seek, stumble, or worse. It doesn't matter how much we believe that God is here to take care of us, or whether or not we're completely convinced that God is going to take care of us in our present state (WHATEVER that may be, honey). God is going to do what is good because He is good. When are we going to stop believing that God is going to do only what we know what to tell Him to do. IS OUR GOD THAT SMALL?????? 

These questions have affronted me. In the midst of great trials, GOD has remained the same. He has remained faithful when, quite literally, everything else in my life was failing me. 

Honey, you're a sunflower. Sunflowers don't decide whether or not they're going to be beautiful or whether or not they're going to bloom. Their Maker does. And frankly, whatever the Maker decides to do with you, Sunflower, is completely up to Him and that means that whatever happens, it is for a good purpose. That's what His Good Word says.

So what now? We may not be able to do anything, but we can rest in the reality that our Maker is the One who will never let go of those who are in His possession. 

This softened my heart today: Hear A Deeper Healing (Joni Eareckson Tada) here.

This verse was very encouraging to me yesterday, and I'd love to share it with you:
"As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life." 

• Our hope is in God who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 
• We are rich in good works, as we are generous, ready to share, and storing up eternal treasures for ourselves.
• By doing these things we take hold of that which is truly life.  

For a long time, I've lived thinking that something besides simply Jesus Himself was truly life!! But now, I'm seeing that only He is truly LIFE and nothing can take that from me. Everything else is fading and I can be robbed of everything else in my life, but my Jesus and His Word is truly LIFE. 
And I enjoy everything He gives.