At work, I became completely overwhelmed with all of the changes occurring in my life... Now, I am not a crying sort of a gal, but as I was hustling around work, I felt it all crashing down on me. I just lost it. I walked into the back room, hung my head, and started to cry... Not just a few tears. Like, enough to fill one of those tear bottles that I hear God has... I reached for my Bible and sat down and breathed in a psalm. Another Psalm. And finally this one...
"My soul, praise Yahweh,
and all that is within me, praise His holy name.
My soul, praise the Lord,
and do not forget all His benefits.
He forgives all your sin;
He heals all your diseases.
He redeems your life from the pit;
He crowns you with faithful love and compassion.
He satisfies you with goodness;
your youth is renewed like the eagle."
Psalm 103:1-5
A few years ago, I memorized this short little passage... and ever since it has been one that I draw from in hard, gloomy, and now, seemingly unbearable times. My eyes searched the psalms for a cry to the Lord for help, and yet they landed on "praise YAHWEH!"
Stillness.
*GASP*
Then, I felt like I was finally able to breathe after being underneath a crushing sea and tossing waves... for hours!
Praise God right now, my soul! Everything in me, from the deep depths of my hurting heart, praise His Holy name. Even in the midst of this chaos and distress, remember all that He has done for you:
~He has forgiven all of your sin - no more guilt or shame. No more fear. I am forgiven through Jesus Christ. Period.
~He will heal all your diseases - look forward to heaven, Beloved, because this is not all there is! Jesus whispered to my heart today as I stared blankly at a rack of clothing... *nudge* "Darling, soon you will be standing on glory's side with every person you love so dearly singing, 'Holy Holy Holy!' Don't worry about this blip in eternity. I love you and I will save you from everything."
~He redeems my life from the pit - He redeems me and makes me new no matter what sort of pit I have been lying in! Here I was, sitting on my break room chair, and God is like, "Darling, I have redeemed you. I have wonderful plans for your life, and they are not what most people will expect! I have not left you merely wallow in your dungeon of sin and brokenness. No. I have redeemed you today. Come here. Let me hold you."
~He crowns you with faithful love and compassion - My God has compassion on me, and His love is faithful. I wear that like a crown that God Himself put on my head. Here in this agony, I am wearing the beautiful crown of God's faithful love and His wonderful compassion. It says, "I love you, Beloved."
~He satisfies you with goodness - In Him, I can be satisfied by His goodness and the good things that He chooses to give to me. He satisfies me. In reality, He has not left me here hungry and alone. No. I am crowned with love and satisfied by the good things He has given me. Lord, I want to understand the weight of that!
~Your youth is renewed like the eagles - There is nothing like a good trial to make us feel older than we are! He renews my strength and my optimism, my childlike trust in Him to thrive today, like a youth. He is my strength.
I began work troubled and absolutely terrified, and ended work troubled, but unafraid, because I was remembering God's promises and the truths He has told me. I was still being tossed around by the waves of life, but after I laid my life down before Him one more time, I knew that I had no need to fear...
Guess what I asked God this morning? To grow me today and help me set my heart on my Shepherd... He did. It just didn't go as smoothly as I had expected. ;) but I suppose that's how God keeps us humble...?
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